Friendships on the rocks, house buying regret, and caring for loved ones in the throes of addiction
Friendships on the rocks, house buying regret, and caring for loved ones in the throes of addiction
Yes Yes Advice Column
Welcome to Yes Yes, my monthly advice column. I am writing to you from Detroit, MI where the snow is melting and Spring is in the air. Except for it is so so cold still, that part of Spring is not in the air. On my walk yesterday I saw a flower. That felt hopeful.
The audio version of Yes Yes can be found at the bottom of this post
I find myself in new efforts of my creativity, basking in the glow of new things coming. I find myself knowing what needs to come through, even if others don’t understand it. I find myself trusting myself.
In today’s advice column we cover :
🪐WHEN MULTIPLE FRIENDSHIPS END : ARE YOU THE PROBLEM?
🫧 NAVIGATING LOVED ONES WHO ARE IN THE MIDST OF ACTIVE ADDICTION : HOW TO CREATE BOUNDARIES AND ALSO EXTEND CARE
🪴BUYING A HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS AND BEING FILLED WITH REGRET : HOW TO LEAN IN AND LOVE THE CHAPTER ANYWAYS
A portion of March’s paid subscriptions goes towards the Forest Justice Defense Fund, the broad coalition dedicated to saving the Atlanta Forest
I am not a therapist and I have no training in advice giving. I am an artist, a writer, and a teacher of creative practice with a devotion to how we live. These are my opinions, my best shot at hope, and what I know from 34 years on the planet. As always, may you hold a gentle spirit while reading, take what you like, and leave the rest. Let’s dive in!
For our first reader’s question I just want to say : you are and you are not the problem. More importantly, friendships ending does not mean there is something wrong with you or them.
🟡 READER QUESTION : I feel like all of my relationships are on the rocks. some old friendships feel competitive and passive aggressive. another tight-knit group from school seems to be moving on without me (creating group threads i'm not on, making plans without me, etc.). others, i value a lot but i worry i'm not that important to them. it hurts. i've been weighing letting go of some of these relationships, but i worry about ending up alone and friendless. i wonder if i'm the problem and if there's something i can do differently to save these relationships. or if i cut ties, how do you start over and build new friendships from scratch? i'm very comfortable on my own but i crave fulfilling friend love.