From Polyamory to Monogamy

The time it takes to love many people

Yes Yes is a monthly advice column / podcast for paid subscribers of the Monday Monday newsletter. Today it comes to you in written form only :)

You are welcome to leave comments at the bottom and submit your anonymous questions for next month. You are welcome to share screenshots on social media.

A portion of January’s paid subscriptions goes towards The Loveland Foundation’s therapy fund which provides therapy for Black Women and Girls

Photo by Chloe Sells

Reader’s question : I tend to follow your work and admire your recent decision not to write about your romantic life going forward. I'm curious if you'd be willing to answer a q for your podcast about your evolving views of polyamory: you've never seemed to discuss it outright, though I get the impression that your last relationship was poly. As someone who has dated a poly person and decided it's not for me, I'm curious to hear if you have any reflections yourself.

Hello and welcome to Yes Yes in written form - moments ago I got done giving a talk on the theme Sanctuary and felt called to write about this question rather than speak about it. Is this me coming out of retirement? Writing about love, already? No, I am actually here to write about attention, and the creative attention I regained after a year of being un-partnered, the desire for monogamy, and how polyamory lead me in part to a mental health breakdown.

After practicing polyamory in almost all of my partnerships for the last decade, it is a new experiment to invite in the possibilities of loving and being with one person.